This week has been particularly busy. On Tuesday, 19 children and two adults were gunned down at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas. The shooting came just over a week after a white gunman opened fire on a Buffalo supermarket in a black neighborhood and killed 10 people.
These headlines leave us feeling emotional but often stuck on what to do next – and then the horrible cycle continues. My colleague Alia E. Dastagir describes a kind of “learned helplessness” that we adopt in these situations that have almost become normal for us. Here is an excerpt from his piece:
We read the same headlines, see the same cries, criticize or call for the same prayers and find ourselves desperately in the same debate. Until we move on and a moral imperative evaporates.
“Learned helplessness is a mental state that arises when people discover that nothing they do matters,” said Dr. Martin Seligman, director of the Penn Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. . “Its main consequence is that people give up and stop trying. This apparently applies to the majority of Americans who for years have shown they want more checks and balances on gun control. …And despite that, the American the voter and the Democrats, in particular, discovered that nothing they were doing was working.This predicted that people would give up.
To learn more about “learned helplessness”, read Alia’s full story here.
To find out what actions you can take following the Uvalde shooting, Click here.
We’re at a loss for words, but this poet helped find
The school shooting left many at a loss for words, overwhelmed with emotion. In her last poem, Amanda Gorman captured these feelings and transformed silence into stanzas.
“Schools are scared to death. The truth is an education under desks, down under bullets; that downfall when we ask where our children will live, how and if,” she wrote.
In a series of tweets, Gorman continued.
“It takes a monster to kill children. But watching monsters kill children over and over again and doing nothing is not just madness, it’s inhumanity… The truth is that ‘there is a nation under arms,’ the tweets read. “What could we be if we only tried. What could we become if we only listened.”
People responded, sharing their thanks for capturing their thoughts and emotions.
“Thank you for your words when words seem impossible,” commented actress Rachel Brosnahan on Instagram.
To read my full story, Click here.
First dates can be awkward. Avoid these mistakes.
Dating can be fun, but it can also be stressful. In this week’s column, therapist Sara Kuburic breaks down the mistakes you should avoid making when dating for the first time. Here are a few from the list:
Failing to present yourself authentically. We all want to make a good first impression. But often we try to do this by being what the other person wants us to be, rather than presenting ourselves as who we are. The biggest mistake is getting someone to like an inauthentic version of you.
Talk too much about yourself. Talking about yourself is fine, but don’t monopolize the conversation. Many people talk a lot when they’re nervous, but it can feel like a personal involvement and make the experience less engaging for the other person.
Do not ask questions. Showing interest isn’t just about looking into their eyes or laughing at their jokes, it’s also about asking questions about their lives and being curious about who they are. And yet, asking questions is not enough. Make sure to pay attention to the answers they give you.
To read Sara’s full list of tips, Click here.
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Karen Campbell wrote that her puppy Ollie is an Irish terrier from Imaal Island. We love his bandana, so stylish!